5 Deals You Need to Know Today: Get Comfortable at Woot

Seating & Furniture at Woot

Despite his role in the Allied victory in World War II, probably Winston Churchill's greatest contribution to society was the quote "Never stand up when you can sit down, and never sit down when you can lie down." (It naturally helps that outside of those two efforts, he was a pretty terrible human being.) No one even remembers World War II, really, but we all remember how much better it is to sit than to stand. And so, we buy some chairs and stools to sit on, and some tables to sit at or near, and this is our way of celebrating the free world and the free shipping for Prime members, as Woot is, lest we forget, an Amazon company.

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Anker 621 Nano 5,000mAh Portable Power Bank

I'm sure it's for good reason, but it frustrates me that this charger has a little stem between it and the iPhone it's charging, instead of sitting flush against it. Imagine the satisfaction of slotting the charger into the lightning port and everything fitting together like some well-crafted LEGO. But we can't always get what we want, and so even as we get this charger at a $14 low thanks to the clippable coupon on the Amazon page, we must endeavor to spend the rest of our lives chasing the satisfaction we can't get from this device. I mean, maybe. Your determination may vary.

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Converse Chuck Taylor All Star Men's High Street OX Sneakers

As much as it's all iconic to varying degrees, "Converse Chuck Taylor All Star" is a lot of branding to eat through as you're naming these shoes. Luckily, the pricing is strong enough for us to ignore this marketing faux pas. It is strong like ox. Strong like OX sneakers. Still, the branding needs some compacting. CCTAS, that's what we'll call them. "Kickitas", we'll pronounce it. Do you think a soft "as" at the end, or a hard one, to rhyme with and perhaps challenge the ubiquitous adidas? I don't know – but I do get the sense that anyone reading this will want to kick my as.

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J.Crew Factory Final Memorial Day Clearance

J.Crew Factory offers this discount, via coupon code "SAVE70", and perhaps predictably, I'm going to suggest another branding compacting. What about "J.C. Factory compels you to use coupon code SAVE70"? It has a certain ring to it. And have you heard the good news about the other "J.C." who saved? That's right: JC Denton, protagonist of the greatest video game of all time, who saved us all from the villainous Bob Page. And so it's fitting that coupon code "SAVE70" makes such a significant JC dent in these prices. I retire undefeated.

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Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger

Speaking as an outsider, from the sunny shores of Ireland, I must confess that "Wendy's Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger" sounds sort of like it should be the name of a NASCAR driver. But instead, it's just something Wendy's offers for a measly cent through its app in honor of National Hamburger Day. Almost as good.

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